USJ Today

Congratulations to Teagan Timberlake, the University School of Jackson’s first-ever recipient of the prestigious Hagan Scholarship, a highly competitive nationwide award recognizing students who demonstrate exceptional academic achievement, leadership, perseverance, and character.

(Disclaimer: The following, not unlike this entire series, was written entirely by a human being, and every edit and mistake were 100% man-made.)
 

Greetings USJ Families,

Since the advent of modern advertising just over a century ago, the residents of Western civilization have been fodder for the Don Drapers of the world, who have told us that a little dab’ll do us, while at the same time betting us we can’t eat just one and tempting us to go ahead and squeeze the Charmin. Our culture is collectively guilty of gobbling up every widget that has rolled off the line as fast as shelves can be stocked or today, next-day shipped (if we can wait that long) to our doorsteps.